Eating Out 4: Drama Camp (2011) | FULL Gay Movie | Comedy | LGBTQIA+

Temptations at a drama camp threaten a gay relationship that may already be cooling.

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Wow Have you played around with the head yeah i tried everything i just can’t get it to turn on please see where i’m fixing the toilet porno much [Applause] [Applause] now it’s time to drain [Applause] what about your boyfriend he can get his own plumber [Applause] um My hair oh honey this is not what it looks like oh neither is this And cut brilliant right that’s a wrap this is definitely getting us into drama camp for hetero your movies are really homo it doesn’t matter if the characters are geared what genre is genre and if i did this with women i’d be a sexist the ladies love that used gay guys

I guess we’ve come a long way i look like ricky martin’s [ __ ] you need a lot more blood for that you were awesome man no you were no you were vomitous maximus vomitus maximus i do not sound like that i do not sound like that it doesn’t matter if the characters are

Gear or what genre is genre here’s the drama camp [Applause] foreign tell me bye in your eyes i’m not in the mood casey you’re never in the mood i was having a really hot dream fine i’ll just take care of it myself can i make a little mess on your back You make me feel like to me more oh you cougar milk i’m gonna do every nasty thing there is to you i haven’t been this wet since reagan was shy remember the days when you couldn’t get enough of this holy homos helen who’s that

Ah this is andy i found him on my face i think you mean facebook who said anything about the internet look i’m sorry lady i don’t rub weenies andy damn it i thought you were off to dramacock camp this morning how so we’re just gonna do it in my room my

Place is full of embarrassing old lady things ah aunt helen well it’s not like i haven’t corked my onion in here before ew [ __ ] we’re late nude nude have a great time and no back broken bear vaccine and we won’t okay get your tight little ass back here mama’s hungry All right grandma’s hungry Excuse me do you know how much that costs hey uh you need a hand this is a bigger mess than sex in the city too yeah uh sequels usually suck maybe this will um try that oh right there wow you’re genius i’m lily jason is that all you got huh luggage

Oh yeah that’s it good because this thing is packed immigrant tights there we go wait we have baggage maybe we’ve had some lube we need something to tie this shut here jesus holy teenage werewolf There all strapped in that’s what me said buckled up damn it my seatbelt’s broken there’s an extra one here i can trade if you guys want to sit together i’ve sat with casey before we might as well get to know our fellow campers on the way up I’m benji like the dog i’m zach the ephraim but with a k god will you two do it already i’m casey like the boyfriend oh oh god i didn’t realize christ are there gonna be any non-homos at this place i’m straight Me too you are you are yeah i’m straight huh never judge a book by its haircut i’m genevieve it’s french you probably can’t pronounce it so you can just call me jenna thief does anyone know how to get there here i am So you’re the parasite the what penny sussellman the little teat suckling vampire with the free paid all-expense work study scholarship work-study yeah you didn’t think you were gonna get by with nothing but talent and moxie did you no no i just didn’t see the work part on the scholarship application it

Was a work study application okay no one ever gave me a handout paid my dues tracking down deadbeat cancer survivors with unpaid medical bills sold my hair my blood my semen anything to scrape together enough money to build dick dickey’s drama camp so you be ready to work those pointy

Little fingers to the bone i see every experience good or bad is a life enrichment opportunity of course you do what are my duties dishes toilets vomit and feces patrol anything that nobody else wants to do i can do all that with the little sunshine and elbow grease you know

You’re really annoying you know that right okay have an assignment make sure everybody’s checked in and ready for orientation by um i don’t know oh oh 1500 hours how do i and scene huh [Applause] I cannot believe they come in the boy’s cabin you think drama camp is a little more open we shouldn’t be talking i shouldn’t have to talk to his dad um i’m just trying to help i know i’m sorry it’s just i’m tired of educating people every trip to the public toilets a

Political statement sometimes you just want a [ __ ] in peace you know i can’t [ __ ] in public toilets it’s gonna be a long summer for you oh are you guys my rubies for now cool go ahead oh i’m living i’m beau whoa what’s your name cason wow casey you’re like the cutest

Redhead i’ve ever seen thanks but um i’m i’m blonde whatever it is you’re smoking why don’t you take them in a way i can’t believe i have two straight roommates this is so european there’s nothing european about being straight if you don’t want to talk about [ __ ] and guns and football

I can feel it yo i’m straight not brain dead but her vagina kills brain cells just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you should be hating on women sorry i didn’t mean um i’m gonna go check on casey why are you telling everyone you’re straight because i am come on

Ray charles can see you looking at that ass like it was sea biscuit when i found out they were a couple i felt bad for coming on so strong so i said i was straight so it wouldn’t be weird the rest of the trip so you’re gonna pretend to be straight to everyone

The whole time i guess i really didn’t think about it but why not this is drama camp it’ll be the ultimate acting exercise you know what that’s actually a really good idea yeah people always complain that openly gay actors can’t play straight but with my direction i mean we

Could definitely prove something i’ll be your director all right it’ll be like scorsese and dicaprio or whoopi goldberg and whoever directed sister act 2 back in the habit when she goes undercover is a nun to save a catholic school yeah none of that So what’s the deal with you and lily I don’t know what’s going on there you know she’s uh transitioning oh i guess you do well we’re gonna learn a lot this summer but you’re glad we got separate cabins why do you say that could you be any more obvious drooling all over benji like the dog you were drooling just as

Much but he doesn’t like me it doesn’t count he doesn’t like anything he’s straight yeah well somehow things don’t stay straight around you you really think you might be curious try not to sound so eager casey even if you were gay nothing would happen i’d never cheat yeah but you’d want to well

I’m human i’m human too but i don’t want to be out there screwing other guys stop twisting this around casey is this guy bothering you who the hell are you i’m the guy you’re messing with when you’re messing with casey it’s okay um bo zak roommate boyfriend oh

I’m sorry do you want me to come back later i was just leaving i gotta hunt you’re gonna start feeling human real soon any guy lucky enough to have you call him your boyfriend ought to be treating you like a prince damn there’s no one on grindr out here

You will never be an actor that’s what they said to me and donnie kendall it was career day and first grade they said be a fireman or a policeman something more realistic and meaningful well donnie kendall listened to their advice he gave up on his dream and he became a cop last month

I went to his memorial service after he got shot in the face now not everyone here is going to become a star or open his own drama camp but i will tell you this if you give up on your dreams even if you don’t end up with a face full of metal

You may as well be dead you owe it to yourself to try okay okay i don’t like sycophants i’m just a serious actress i’ll be the judge of that two weeks from today on this very stage we will hold the annual dick dickey’s drama camp scene competition

Yeah your assignment is to take a scene from shakespeare and give it a modern twist maybe othello has a talk show on the oprah network or maybe maybe the tempest takes place in the outer reaches of space also on the oprah network you know just let your imaginations run wild this year

The group that puts on the best show will win an all-expense paid vacation as generously donated as part of a settlement at the triangle inn in palm springs because in the real world actors get prizes that vacation is so mine one final thing there will be no sexual misconduct on this campground

So anyone caught with his or her hoo-ha’s out will be expelled no refunds i haven’t had sex in seven and a half years and it’s only made me a better artist nc changing the way that i do business How are you and your boyfriend gonna manage with no sex it’s not really our thing lately Sorry god i think you just scared a fart out of me i get that a lot who’s a jerk my boyfriend what are you doing working off my tuition uh so um why are you dating a jerk um i guess because i love him why do you love him because never mind what

I was gonna say because i worked so hard to get him but that doesn’t really make sense does it it does if you’re in dr phil or something maybe you guys aren’t in love anymore but penny someone crapped in the urinal take care of it right away duty calls get it duty

How do i come up with these things So are you going to direct another homoerotic scene for the competition another homoerotic scene jason has a weird obsession with gay sexiness i like erotica in general it’s just hard to get girls to do naked [ __ ] for free but gay guys it’s like they’re natural born [ __ ] it’s not

Because you might just be a little gay yeah why don’t you just blow me see if my dick twitch is in the slightest blow yourself someday my friend someday so this is what straight guys talk about shut your hole no you shut your hole Can you believe this is what they give me you should chill well they did offer to put me in the same cabin with that annoying genevieve girl oh you mean not jonah yeah i’d rather stab myself in the face well at least dickie’s not buying her act did

You hear him i don’t like sycophants i don’t like specks either which is why i’m so charming to be around that’s creepy do you guys mind if i sleep nude you don’t talk much but when you do uh it doesn’t bother me unsuit yourself that’s the only way i can sleep good Well sweet dreams Good morning dick dickies drama campers it’s 5 a.m time to rise up and act your first classes start in 30 minutes are you tired well just pretend your character isn’t grab a latte and muscle through it [Laughter] [Applause] Now i have a very loose throat which is important in acting to get the good rolls if you know what i mean [Laughter] no i’m kidding the only thing sucking off a casting director is going to get you is a trip to the free clinic i mean if it worked brittany murphy and

I would star in everything brittany murphy is dead really that’s hilarious girl knew how to suck a dick she was like the [ __ ] whisperer all right now everyone find a throat partner how are things with the jerk he’s sitting right next to me where hi tiffany at drama camp you’ll refer to

Me as miss vander sloot wow sexalicious what are you trading up he’s straight i’m straight then my tits are down here does that guy seem straight to you oh don’t ask me i was a claymate in 10th grade hey calm boy place your hands on your throat sorry oh you will be

Now everyone this last one betty white showed me oh [Applause] Aren’t they freddy you know those are actually weeds does knowing that make them any less pretty you want something uh yeah um i’m holding auditions for my scene um doing this twist on the taming of the shrew and well i really like you to read for the world of kate why

I don’t know i think you’re talented and why would you think that i mean i think you’re pretty and i like your personality that’s when you ask a girl out on a date not to audition for you sorry i didn’t mean to offend you no i’ll audition oh great boys are so stupid I don’t think benji’s really straight it’s like he can’t keep his eyes off zach why would anyone pretend to be straight these days i thought neil patrick harris changed all that oh watch out what poison oak oh thanks you know nature is really creepy do you ever get scared out here

You mean like some hunky vampire might come and take me away from all this or a psychopath would peel off your fingernails and [ __ ] down your throat did you hear that stop trying to scare me no i’m serious oh shark it’s probably just a bird a really big bird get down but i

Someone’s here if someone sees i’ll take care of them don’t worry you mean like kill them no one’s here freeze heads in the air we have don’t expel us i didn’t put it in my mouth yet it doesn’t count to be or not to be that is the question

To suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against the sea of troubles and by opposing end them to die to die to sleep no more and by sleep to say we end the heartache and thousand natural shocks there’s a consummation devoutly to be wished to die

To sleep to sleep a chance to dream Hi um director guy you do realize what you just saw was a man auditioning for the role of a woman are you here for the role of a [ __ ] who’s about to get punched uh i i think what i just saw was an actor pretty much nailing the audition are you kidding me

You’re doing taming of the shrew with all the sexual inequality in this world you’re seriously considering giving one of the few good female roles to a man in a dress genevieve that’s inappropriate i’m a transsexual woman not a man and i don’t need a man to stand up for me Now as much as i abhor sex there’s nothing i enjoy more than the tender caress of a kissing scene as an actor you must be prepared to make out with anyone or anything at any given moment it’s a secret i learned in hollywood on the internet can i get a volunteer i’ll kiss

You dick oh no not for me fac front and center right all right now we need a volunteer to kiss this lovely young girl genji benji oh benjamin how about you i think i’m getting a cold i wouldn’t want you to catch my germs it’s okay i

Already have plenty of germs ew oh okay um how about anyone else okay all right enough we get it all right everyone pick a partner get in two lines facing each other now lean into your partner stare into their eyes and stop everyone in this line move one person

Over to your left that’s your real kissing partner and kiss okay benji and lily that’s fair all right kenny with tom please commit oh quiet girl’s really getting into it over here isn’t she all right no groping jean viv oh i couldn’t stop thinking about cold sores

Why couldn’t benji kiss her i know a real straight guy would have been all over that i read a scientific study once to see if a guy’s gay they got him to look at a hot naked man and checked if he had a boner did a study on that

Keep it moving ass pimples [Applause] no you can’t can’t what you can tell if the guy’s at bottom or not by his shoes really the cuter the shoes the bigger the bottom whoa whoa whoa help me up Oh sorry i thought that was your hand [Applause] are you okay yeah thanks you know if you need me to sleep with someone i can do that too total [ __ ] here i can tell you’ve tall horses i know right Oh what the [ __ ] he owed me one for not ratting him out penny that was so stupid did it work i couldn’t tell if benji’s dick was big because it was hard or big because it was just a big dick well how dense was it normal dance

Okay like grabbing your folks in turkey leg dents or like grabbing a giant marshmallow dance i don’t know somewhere in between but it could have been his iphone or a shoe for all i know shoot when’s the last time you touched a dick anyway that was my first what

Congrats looks like we have a gay kissing scene buddy i was just noticing that you’ve ever had to kiss a guy before how bad could it be honestly most guys suck at kissing but not me so pucker up gave the best audition i know so i’ll see you at rehearsal tomorrow of course

I did get the scene because you like my acting right yeah strictly professional nothing else oh i’ll see you tomorrow all right you do that i know jason from back home he’s a really good guy i’m sure he is okay then why are you all regina george

On him he’s cute and he likes you then why doesn’t he just ask me out instead of all this pretending him tippy-toeing he’s just nervous you don’t understand when the boy likes me it’s either a fetish or he’s confused and really wants to be with a boy which i’m not

It’s rare they just like me i don’t know what that’s like but i do know guys when i first met zach i invented a fake person who turned out to be real and helped zach go on a date with him i even blew the fake guy and hooked up with

Zach’s ex-boyfriend before i could tell zach that i really liked him maybe jason’s doing the same thing you are a weird little creature creatures Oh you’re welcome by the way yeah thanks for casting me i mean thanks for casting you in a hot makeout scene with zach those guys are having relationship issues i don’t want to get mixed up with their drama yeah man that’s why it’s perfect okay you can have your zack and

Eat them too no strings attached is that really why you cast us i cast you because i want to win tension between you guys is award-winning what you doing it’s fresh and practice take over i’m gonna go plan for them all Isn’t this awesome i mean what could be better than an entire summer of just acting sex or at least masturbation i haven’t been able to rub one out since i got here do you like any of the girls here bro bro i don’t know isn’t that what guys say to

Each other in gay pornos maybe or the south you know i’ve never really hung with straight guys not since i came out why not i don’t know i guess with gay guys i fit in it’s like i’m in high school only this time i’m a popular kid but with straight guys

I just sort of feel like a nerd all over again high school was a long time ago ugh don’t remind me i’m so old you and me both bro i’m gonna go run lines with casey I um i don’t get to spend much time alone with you here yeah our camp’s got us so busy so so um maybe uh maybe we shouldn’t yeah i hate to get kicked out lights out in 15 minutes breakfast tomorrow benji and i have our first rehearsal but

I’ll see you at diggy seminar sounds great is it safe why didn’t you say you were back there you came in while i was changing plus i’m really nosy well so what’d you think well your relationship is like the third season of gossip girl it was cool now it sucks

Just cancel it i know it’s like at this point i’m kind of well honey i’m kind of hoping he’ll break up with me i’m a terrible person only on the inside Okay so in this scene lily plays kate the powerful self-absorbed woman who doesn’t want to get married but your father set you up with petruchio played by zack now in my updated twist you realize that petruchio is actually gay and madly in love with his best friend hortensio played by benji

Okay you secretly demand that they hook up before you marry him and split your father’s diary with them right yes there will be lots and lots of kissing between everyone do you want us to do the actual kissing stuff today no no no no let’s hold off on that

I want the tension to build up so that um it becomes a big nerve where i can deal when you finally do it okay good good so um let’s start from the top with zach and lily good moral kate for that’s your name i hear they call me catherine that the talk of

Me well looks like there’s definitely going to be kissing you don’t know the way jason directs these things there’s gonna be a lot more than kissing if the fool could find where it lies musical theater is back everyone’s a glee [ __ ] nowadays so it wouldn’t be a drama camp without a

Course on musical numbers the theory goes like this one person is inspired with song and the rest of the group just sort of knows how to come in how to dance etc etc so let’s just see how this plays out in real life all right zach face front and center uh

I’m not much of a singer oh that’s the beauty of auto-tune drama is more than learning words it’s more than mixing dates and verses until you strike desire Playing through the Queen all night So If you don’t like what you’ve seen don’t be a drifter drama queen just carry on and play along like players do passionate reactions shaking up the shakespeare in your velvet drama queen playing through the camera like a drama Queen drama queen well that felt totally rehearsed crowns in my purse i have and goods at home and so i’m come abroad to see the world petruchio i shall not wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife for in your keep my treasure is the jewel of my life flies in your hold um Uh line tweak such friends as we few words suffice you should really learn these i mean even i haven’t memorized since we have stepped thus far in i will continue that i broached in jest oh i know this one will you nil you i will marry you and then i lean into kiss

Benji i’m casey i know but he’s benji no he’s hortensio being played by benji sorry i get it you like him he has his name sewn into his underwear there’s nothing to be jealous about why do you know that i’m not jealous i thought i would be but i’m not

Then why are you being so dramatic i just i wonder how different things would be if he were gay today’s forecast sunny with a 100 chance of drama the competition’s near so remember second place just means you’re the best at losing all right class today’s all about becoming an animal

Something i’ve been told i’m very good at and i don’t just mean acting like an animal i mean becoming an animal a lion a goose home i really want you to see the world for your animal’s point of view okay what’s this a jellyfist okay all right so um

Casey pick an animal from benji the endangered roritonga starling an oxpecker cockroach oh my wife and i can’t stand the side of those pets benji let’s see your [ __ ] yeah right [Laughter] they’re kissing for real in rehearsal tonight i thought you didn’t care i don’t but i don’t have to enjoy it either

I think i’m getting another idea penny no ah stop being such a penny genevieve wants you to be the herpes virus moo okay it’s a little over the top uh i’ll pick an animal for casey chicken chicken double double toil incredible So [ __ ] Food Oh Ah [ __ ] it Oh god stop you perfect Oh What is happening to me are you dating anyone why do you ask for your character i just wanted to see if there’s something we could draw on how is that well your character is a confirmed bachelorette and i thought that maybe if you’re dating someone i could help you

Forget them and maybe replace them with the the idea of possibly um i’m single oh oh my god what happened the nurse said it’s poisonous it’s everywhere what were you doing to poison oak apparently naked i don’t know i haven’t touched any nature that looks really painful it’s like my whole body’s a

Circumcision wound but we have to rehearse okay the competition look at me i can’t rehearse it without me use casey no you know all my lines you can teach me the blocking tomorrow if i can move but i fine fine let’s go under study i got the stage reserved

Sean penn would have rehearsed Petruchio i shall not wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife for in your keep my treasure is the jewel of my life lies in your hold to extremes such as we few words suffice since we are stepped thus far in i will continue that i broached in jest will you nil you

I will marry you great great great now pitch review i want you to lean in and kiss her atencio like it’s your first kiss ever um for realsies Yeah yeah jc go for it Oh that was just good as a girl clearly i gotta go Hey gingerbread what about our scene oh yeah yeah yeah um i’ll i’ll stand for zach Penny what are you doing you can’t come in but i need to talk zach got into some poison oak and he couldn’t make it to rehearsal um at least you didn’t have to kiss benji right no but i did What can i come in um no uh you should go be with zach i should oh definitely Come come you wasp i faith you are too angry if i be waspish best beware my sting my remedy is then to pluck it out ah if the fool could find where it lies who knows not where a wasp does where his sting in his tail in his tongue whose tongue

Yours if you talk of tails and so farewell what with my tongue in your tail with your tongue and hortensio’s tail as if it would please you what say you kiss me then show me what manners of love you hold and and then you kiss me

You have to kiss me i shouldn’t have to come to you lily why can’t i keep an actor in the room today i’ll go talk to her [Applause] are you okay why do you guys have to play stupid games because then we don’t get hurt but it’s okay to hurt other people

Why are you pretending to be straight he has a boyfriend i didn’t want it to get weird well it got weird what happened to old-fashioned romance you know like the dogs and spaghettis Twix such friends as we few words suffice and then i um benji walks upstage and says since we are stepped thus far in i will continue that i broached ingest will you nail you i will marry you did you guys do the kiss yeah really how was it

I mean how was the blocking um well okay you go like this and pretend i’m him and then you go Oh sorry i can come back we were just rehearsing the scene and getting to the kissy stuff we were actually i thought it was going to be your first guy but casey beat me to it um why don’t you do the scene with zach really really really

Face looks better the winner says i’m safe to kiss action petruchio i shall not wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife for in your keep my treasure is the jewel of my life lies in your hold Twix such friends as we view words of ice since we are stepped thus far in i will continue that i broached in chest will you know you i will marry you Wow I you did really good that was great uh i gotta go to bed you guys are gonna kill that scene You’re a good kisser not like the last straight guy i was with Zach i have something to tell you I’m really sorry about the poisonous oh my god that was you i have to break up with him what why zach won’t dump me because he’s too nice i mean he’s completely fallen for someone else and he won’t do anything about it out of respect for me but benji’s not even gay

Maybe he had a frozen turkey leg when we kissed but that’s not the point i’m not the one for zach maybe benji is or someone else he’ll miss out on because he feels like he owes me something what if i miss the right one does that itch i feel like lindsay lohan’s [ __ ]

What else did you lie about benji even your name i wanted to get to know you but i didn’t want to mess up your relationship give me some credit i’m flirty but you really think i’m the kind of guy who cheats no i guess i was just trying to protect myself too

I’m falling pretty hard for you You know the worst part i thought i was finally bonding with a straight guy i thought i overcame whatever issue i had but i’m still just a scared little gay boy You’re not rise and shine my little dicklets congratulations on making it to the final weekend of drama camp excuse me i have a lot more deaths than i expected How’s your ash the worst part’s over but my face is gonna look like adam lambert for a while maybe jason can find some way to work it into the scene what in the 15 minutes of rehearsal we have left probably already got three alternate versions with me so

Last night and jack i think we should break up what does that hurt your feelings of course it does really i guess not i thought it would hurt yours and i think you should go for benji what there’s something between you guys and i think you should see what that’s all

About but you hate him i only hated him because you two seemed so right together and we didn’t he’s lying about being straight because he liked you right it doesn’t make it okay i lied about being an entirely different person to get to you good point what should i say to him

Okay look i’m pretty cool but i’m not gonna stick his dick in your mouth for you you’ll figure out what to do okay so this is our only tech rehearsal before the show so we’ll run the scene i’ll make final blocking adjustments then that’s it

So now lily remember you have to be the aggressive one if you’re going to get what you want come come you wasp by faith you are too angry if i be waspish best be where my sting it’s our last day here do you like me or what

I’m sorry lily what you heard me jason i think we should get back to the scene if you want to ask me i’ll just do it stop making stupid excuses keep running into me do you like me like me or am i just crazy are you weirded out because i’m a transsexual

Just be real what’s going on look i don’t know okay lily wait wait hey when guys play games let’s just rehearse sure from your line petruchio i shall not wish thee to a shrewd ill-favored wife for in your keep my treasure is the jewel of my life lies in your hold

Twix such friends as we few words suffice especially when they’re lies sorry since we are stepped thus far in i will continue that i broached and just will you know you i will marry you that’s great now kiss him a real kiss come on oh i like this tension better again

That’s nice benji open his shirt pretend i’m not here we’re gonna take this scene all the way Zach take off benji’s shirt that’s not endless just do it and keep kissing This is intense he likes these hardcore gay scenes benji climb on top of zach and rub your groin into His don’t stop kissing zach i want you to slide your finger down his abs nice and slow Now over his happy trail around his waistline just where his pants meet the skin now poke your finger under his waistband just slightly feel the heat coming from down now go for it reach in and grab his [ __ ] Benji do the same [Applause] Benjamin undo your pants take them down more passion guys make it real The two guys have dreamed about this moment your entire lives you never thought this would happen but it is And it’s better than you ever imagined Yeah go for it [Applause] What the sexist going on we were just doing our scene it’s shakespeare tell him jason Shakespeare did not have [ __ ] shots lily i’m sorry you’re right okay i was playing games i like you i i really like you just i i didn’t know what that meant about me but i do now you helped me learn something about myself i learned that i wasn’t as

Open-minded as i like to think that i am and because of it i might have lost someone that’s really wonderful look lily please i brought something for you jason williams port to my office right this minute okay weird that’s me look lily i just hope you’ll talk to me What happened i accepted you into my drama camp because i thought that your film eloquently showed how sex leads to murder but this i fail to see any social value in these shenanigans your scene is out of the competition we have to do something dickie’s gonna

Expel them and it’s all my fault i don’t know what you’re talking about but i already think i have an idea weird huh penny look at this rash neither one of us are very good at having ideas Trust me this time it’s gonna work despite a last-minute disqualification dick dickey’s annual scene night competition will proceed as planned sexual conduct of any kind will not be tolerated and will be immediate grounds for just like location i want you okay i’m not giving you a discount on your tuition

Has it really been seven years since you had sex seven and a half i’m seven and a half soft oh oh oh my god it’s hotter than twins oh my you’re really talented You were like black swan crazy if i hadn’t had done it you never would have made a move that doesn’t make it any less twisted and now dickies kicked us out of the competition you honestly couldn’t tell it was me on the microphone

No well not at first i knew it oh god i am so [ __ ] up oh my god that stuff was organized oh by the way but you know what i can’t hear you with your dick in my mouth what oh oh oh god oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh it feels so

[ __ ] good oh say my name dicky oh yeah what is your name it’s connor oh oh conrad oh conrad oh yeah lick my balls it’s connor c-o-n-o-r friend me on facebook casey you guys have got to check this [ __ ] out oh yeah oh yeah oh knocked my ass i just

Took a dump whoa oh yeah yeah do it again again oh my god don’t spill any santorum on my desk oh yeah oh yeah that feels so [ __ ] good oh yeah keep spelling oh yeah oh yeah i’ll put a finger in there another one oh yeah

This reminds me of my sweet 16. oh let’s let’s go to it here oh yeah oh yes welcome to the theater Ladies and gentlemen friends family others welcome to dick dickey’s annual scene camp uh drama competition is jason williams here i um i had a speech prepared um about a guy who got shot in the face oh it’s actually a lot more tasteful than it sounds but um you know what

Let’s just watch this Oh romeo romeo why for one thou i am me romeo deny thy texting and refuse thy phone calls or if thou shalt not be but sworn my love and i shall no longer use a blackberry oh Juliet has thou blocked me on facebook the more my wrong the more his spite appears what did he marry me where have you been your seed’s back in the competition exactly as it was i i didn’t even no no you were right sex is such an important

Part of human interaction oh my god blah blah blah who cares anyway have you seen the [ __ ] vest that’s going on on stage [Applause] okay look whatever you two are doing when dickie walked in on you i want you to do that but more okay what about lily

I can’t find her i don’t think she wants anything to do with me anyway the showmance must go on I better get in costume And now get ready to meet the real merry housewives of windsor well this is a turret and a half yeah so do you want to make it official and go on the date you got dumped like five minutes ago i don’t want to be a rebound

And i don’t want to date a guy who lies about being straight but that doesn’t mean there’s not something here and i’m sure with my new breast implants i’m sure i’ll live happily ever after [Applause] hey you’re on drama queens good morning kate for that’s your name i

Hear they call me captain that do talk of me come come you wasp by faith you are too angry if i be waspish best beware beware what beware of playing games because if you’re playing a game you’re playing it alone oh not again

Look i know who i am and i know who i’m not and that makes me lucky because some people never figure that out have you are you brave enough to follow your heart why kate to whom doth thou speaketh to him Uh i’m sorry i’ve never been in this situation before what situation a situation what a situation where if the girl told me that she didn’t want to be with me it’d break my heart completely that’s a chance you have to take with love with anyone lily Will you marry me ah let’s start with a date first that’s good enough for me well she left it early with that man petruchio the jewel of my life You’re right i don’t care how we got here just how we feel when we’re together i’m sorry i lied to you twix such friends as we no apology is necessary since we are stepped thus far in will you give me another chance Will you kneel you i will marry you Twit do it That’s intense bo so is it true you’re single now word gets around fast you tweeted it oh yeah but i’m nowhere near ready to date so do you want to use me for sex but [ __ ] yes Finally some action Um What is wrong with you people [Applause] so what are you doing after drama camp can i take you to dinner i literally thought you would never ask Are you texting status update omg just got laid on stage oh tag me in it are you always that good or where you’re just acting i was just rehearsing for what i’m gonna do to you tonight that’s so romantic congratulations to the winners of this year’s scene competition Thank you all for making dick dickey’s drama camp a raging success Oh this only pays for five people Here Use mine too me too Maybe you guys won the contest but whatever i’m rich And seen If you Like a Playing through the camera like a drama queen a nice drama queen now we can finish what we started yes sir [Applause] Oh you can’t expel us camp’s over i didn’t put it in my mouth yet oh sorry it looked like a stick up you gonna join us or what yeah You don’t want me [Applause] Welcome to my party