Honoring Those Who Came Before: Ancestral Veneration in Southern Italy
Southern Italian culture holds a deep respect for ancestors, a tradition that weaves together Catholicism and ancient beliefs. Here’s a glimpse into this fascinating practice:
Family Ties Beyond Life: Ancestral spirits are seen as watchful presences, interested in the well-being of their descendants. Prayers and offerings are made to honor them and seek guidance.
Home is Where the Hearth Is: In some regions, keeping the home clean is believed to appease ancestral spirits, who might otherwise cause mischief. This echoes the Lares, Roman guardian spirits of the household.
Remembering with Ritual: On special occasions, families gather at cemeteries or prepare a small feast at home to remember their ancestors. Offerings of food, wine, or flowers might be left at gravesites.
A Light in the Darkness: Candles and olive oil lamps are common offerings, symbolizing the continuation of life even after death.
This ancestral veneration is a beautiful expression of Southern Italian culture, reminding us of the enduring connection between generations.
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hello and welcome everyone uh the uh
actually the only live person that we
have one the recording is ellen so
welcome ellen and to everybody who’s
watching the replay welcome as well
i want to start tonight before we dive
into our module and a brief discussion
uh by thanking all of you for being part
of what we’re doing here
because uh
really and truly um that makes this work
possible and i know i don’t say it often
enough so thank you and i appreciate uh
i appreciate the support um of everybody
who’s who’s uh been part of this work
particularly since we just found out
today that i will be the sole source of
income for our household so i’ve got to
do some prosperity work uh in in that
regard um to turn things around but i’m
excited um as many of you know if you’re
watching this live in uh it’s the 6th of
june
um
2022
um we will be taking our our summer
break
over the next uh you’ll have three weeks
to catch up however on the third week we
are on on june 27th we are going to have
an open community uh video chat um where
it’ll be open topic we’ll talk about all
things that are involved in the course
or any of my courses um so all of you
are welcome to be part of that as well
um on june 27th if you’re watching this
in the recording or in the archive
on demand you could just disregard that
disregard those dates so let me go ahead
and start the share screen
okay alan can you see the screen
yes okay perfect
now comes the tricky part never tried it
this way before
okay so here we are i’m going to go
ahead and move this film strip up a
little bit actually
move it off to the corner
this is module 6 in the strigoi nadia
101 rebooted course
this week we’re going to unpack the
foundational principles of ancestral
work who are the ancestors why do we
work with them what does it mean
what about bad ancestors and
experiencing and opening our awareness
to the ancestors who wish to work with
us
so many of us get lost or feel
disconnected after generations of
displacement and oppression um
colonialism and yearn for a sense of
reconnection uh with our ancestors uh
with our roots with our our heritage and
uh let’s see if i can move this it’s
probably gonna mess up the uh the slide
and i’ll have to go backward um but
similarly our ancestors often bear the
the woundedness that comes from this uh
you know this experience this history of
generations of oppression and
colonialism and we carry these burdens
with us in our families and our bodies
in the srega tradition the lineage
repair process opens a pathway to our
roots to fuel transformation of
inherited burdens and pains so that in
turn unlocks the the full embodiment of
our own gifts of our own
healing
and so we’re healing the past and we’re
healing ourselves at the same time and
ancestral work is spiritually grounded
it’s a ritual process
that
empowers us to connect repair and
nurture relationships with our own
loving and wise ancestors
so we’ll talk a little bit about what
this includes it includes an awareness
of our personal heritage the the origin
myths the traditions the cultures of our
particular uh you know heritage
it includes ethnobotany particularly in
awareness of the relationships our
people had to certain plants and our
relationship to those plants themselves
as ancestors
it includes ethnoanimism which is the
ways in which our people related to the
spirits of the plants the lands the
place um creatures and objects of our
first homes and our present surroundings
because our tradition is rooted in the
uh in the idea and and the uh ideology
of
animism
and our ancestral work includes
cultivation of personal relationships
with those who’ve gone before us uh
including those we’ve known and those
we’ve never known on the screen you see
a picture of my paternal grandmother and
my paternal grandfather uh and uh you
know hopefully you see the a little bit
of resemblance there um but i never knew
my grandfather he died when my dad was
16 and my grandmother of course was one
of my two primary teachers
so who are they when we talk about the
ancestors in the broadest sense our
ancestors are all of the people uh human
and otherwise who lived on earth before
us uh the life of the past that
nourishes and shapes and informs our
present more specifically the ancestors
are the human dead the collective love
wisdom and suffering of human beings of
homo sapiens over the past 300 000 or so
years um at least
now even more narrowly when we look at
what we’re talking about with ancestors
and on the screen you see my maternal
grandmother and my maternal grandfather
both of whom i knew and loved and a
picture of yours truly am i my next
youngest sister um but but more narrowly
we’re talking about those uh dead who
are well in spirit in contrast to ghost
or the trouble dead although i want to
be clear the troubled dead are indeed
still our ancestors they’re just not
ready to work to heal their generational
traumas yet they’re not available um
ancestors are not limited to our blood
and family lineages however um but but
the those ancestors of body tend to be
impactful and important
uh so the ancestors especially those of
blood and bone are our roots and our
mycelia uh and and to cultivate
relationships with them uh is to is to
begin the process of deconstructing the
problematic uh individualistic and
isolating understandings of who we are
um in the larger scheme and the bigger
picture of things uh but our ancestors
also include ancestors of place and
ancestors of spirit ancestors of heart
um ancestors of tribe um so
if a family’s been
a source of pain whether that’s a our
blood family or our tribe our heart
family um
and if if they’ve experienced trauma
then it’s fair to ask what’s in it for
us maybe there is an ancestor who is
particularly horrible to you
um you know why would you want to work
with those with those ancestors if in
fact you want to work with them at all
and and so the answer to this is is that
we do we follow our heart we follow what
intuition tells us but when we assist
the spirits of the deceased who are
still in need this helps the living
transform intergenerational burdens into
ancestral blessings
we get free from the painful legacies
that no longer serve and and and
um support us and find more peace and
rootedness in our bodies our families
and our culture of origin so ancestral
repair work
encourages peacemaking and when possible
um with living family um
it it helps to benefit the the
interactions we have with them now that
doesn’t mean that you have to be
uh cultivating a relationship with
somebody who is still
uh
abusive who is still who is so deeply
traumatized that they’re being abusive
from the other side but loving ancestors
can help uh shoulder some of the burden
of working with those people
um by by you know sort of serving as
intermediaries and the idea is that as
we do that generational
generational healing we don’t put
ourselves in harm’s way we don’t set
ourselves up for dealing with abusive
people
but we we allow ourselves to to create
that space for the healing within us to
take place and stop that generational um
trauma that generational injury from
repeating and manifesting itself in our
own bodies and in the bodies of those
around us
now the ultimate payoff is that our
ancestors uh offer potent support for
understanding and fulfilling our own
life purpose our own destiny if you will
while here on earth tending the health
of our ancestral lineages um helps clear
the way for our eventual transition into
our next reality so ancestral work is is
uh relevant for for healing
um uh healing arts practitioners
esoteric practitioners ritualists of
whatever background uh because it allows
our ancestors uh of blood our ancestors
of tribe and heart
to bring about more successful outcomes
in our work for cultural healing as many
societal toxins and imbalances and and
injustices
are our
unmetabolized ancestral troubles
that um that come from uh
and become exacerbated by interference
from the troubled dead so um we see this
particularly in uh
in
heritage uh uh heritages that have been
abused and oppressed in the past and so
if you happen to be of uh of a
particular uh you know ethnic background
that’s no longer being uh oppressed but
there is that unresolved oppression it
may manifest itself in other aspects of
your life as oppression on the job in
your relationships uh and so there are
many ancient wisdom traditions that uh
that are ways to do ceremony and there
are three essential pieces of those
ceremonies that apply anywhere at any
time first there’s intention what the
yoga tradition calls sanchalpa which is
a vowel of the heart you declare your
purpose uh and and uh ask for an answer
to a question of question or healing
that is attention being present and
grounded and then being purposeful
making sure that what you’re doing is
meaningful for you
um because when you follow a scripted
ceremony it could be harder to connect
deeply so you keep your your attention
on your inner intention on what you’re
offering up from your heart
so the assignment that you’re going to
have this week and the reason we’re not
going to do a lot of discussion of it is
that it’s going to be a lot more intense
than in weeks past so i want to
encourage you not to rush this this uh
this week is all about creating space
for personal experience don’t force it
um you know sometimes we have to go slow
sometimes we have to dip a toe in the
water and allow a few weeks for our
comfort level to catch up
which is why we record these classes so
that um if you if you reach a point
where you’re getting uncomfortable just
say thank you and stop the exercise um
until the following day or if you need
to take a couple days off take a couple
days off but but stick with it and
really make the effort
because what i find is that the people
who do this
experience greater results and and more
predictable outcomes than the people who
say i don’t think i’m ready to deal with
my ancestors
so the first step is creating sacred
space so find a place that’s conducive
to your ceremony
being outside in nature is is highly
recommended or a quiet place inside at
your kitchen table create an altar for
your ancestors which could
include lighting incense or um or some
sort of uh um you know sacred sacred
resins to clear the energy um include
some elements of nature like fire
like a candle flowers a bowl of water
crystals shells feathers tobaccos corn
or grains um some memorabilia personal
items like a ring or a necklace or a
pocket watch or favorite books of the
ancestors that you’re working with
spiritual relics of your favorite deity
if that if that’s applicable to you on
prayer flags or whatever represents you
um rattles drums bells gongs anything to
open up a portal through vibrational
frequency um have those things at the
ready
for for creating this connection with
your ancestors
and next week we move on to invocation
and that’s when you ask for permission
and guidance and protection from spirit
or source within you to do this ceremony
and call upon your ancestors of recent
past those people that you knew in this
life who might have passed on uh who
were close to you and invite those
ancestors to be present by name
into the ceremony so if it’s a
grandmother or grandfather or a parent
invite them in by name to be present
with you as you start this exercise
and then work with the elementals or the
energetic agreements because the
ceremony represents a choice an
agreement if you will on a spiritual
level that pulls into alignment
all of the aspects of our inner and
outer experience uh in in our magical
workings so you may want to have
representations on your altar of the
elements um air which represents your
conscious unconscious and subconscious
energies
um earth which represents your actions
choices and workings
water which
represents our memories our dreams the
emotional aspects of our work and the
potential for healing
fire which represents the spiritual and
energetic aspects of our work and ether
which represents the highest expression
of our self it’s the magic that we are
ourselves so a lot of people like to
have those representations on their
altar
and then we make offerings so your
offerings could be a handwritten letter
to the ancestors that can be burned and
carried into spirit through smoke
or it could be a cup of coffee some
biscotti
some fruit or flowers um wine anything
of that sort
that can be offered to the ancestors and
that’s why as you start this exercise i
i recommend that you um
that you do so with one or two ancestors
that you knew that you personally knew
um and with whom you were close there’s
there will be time to add that and
expand uh to that that retinue
of ancestors that you work with um later
but for this exercise try and limit it
and then you’ll know if that person
didn’t like coffee don’t make a coffee
offering maybe they liked wine maybe
they liked uh some sort of grain alcohol
or or or a particular fruit or or snack
make that
off and then
for those who wish um i like to have a
vibrational frequency going and so
choose music or ambient background
sounds that’ll anchor you to this
particular exercise um it’ll help you
create a shortcut to the space so the
act the music that i play every morning
when i do uh my my exercise my ancestral
work um is always uh you know among the
same couple of different uh
vibrational frequencies uh recordings
that i have in music that i have because
it anchors me to that experience of
connection with those ancestors we’ll
talk about that at the end of the
presentation about how that can manifest
itself
in in magical ways as well and become an
actual magical working
and then what i want you to do is to
focus so sit quietly be in the energy of
source and the energy and and presence
of your ancestors
focus on your intention
listen with full attention to your heart
to your mind and your body for any any
messages any experiences any sensations
you may receive um and you’ll notice
that you might feel uh an instant
knowing where an image might flash
across your mind or a feeling may arise
in you or you might even uh you know
imagine where a particular word
and hear it over and over in your mind
or it may just be a peaceful sense of
calm abiding calm repose
spirit answers in divine time so
more of of the answers you get from this
experience might come the night that you
do it in your dreams it might appear in
nature as you go on through your day
and it might also appear in future
interactions which is why we do this
over and over again
and
the best part of the of the exercise is
the engagement itself so allow this to
unfold naturally don’t don’t uh you know
think of it as if you’re going to meet
somebody for the first time
forced engagement uh is is uncomfortable
um so it may take some time for for the
level of engagement with your ancestors
to improve and increase
but conversations or simply sitting in
one another’s presence
are are examples of natural engagement
you know this is an appropriate time if
there are ancestors you choose to
exclude
to explain to the ones that you are
working with why you’re not comfortable
with them and ask them for assistance in
being there to protect and guide and
mitigate any energies that could cause
discomfort or disharmony uh for you and
those you love so if there’s an ancestor
with whom you don’t want to work um just
say you know i don’t want to work with
you at this time
and explain to the ancestors why you
don’t want to work with them um and ask
them to sort of be that to have your
back to be that barrier um so that this
is a smooth uh engagement
and after you sit for a while after
you’ve and i recommend a minimum of 30
minutes that’s what i do to this day um
every morning and then i do it again for
about an hour at night before i go to
bed but every morning
um you know 30 minutes is a good amount
of time whatever works for you it might
be 15 minutes it might be an hour
thank the ancestors for taking the time
to sit with you and ask that they return
often and that’s so important let them
know that they’re welcome to come to you
whenever they need to that opens your um
your psychic abilities it opens the
psychic door and celebrate the moment
that you have with treats with laughter
um you know maybe just enjoy the the
ambiance or you know if you’re doing
this outside um you’ll notice the birds
might be more more uh
active singing or the squirrels might be
running around chasing one another it
becomes playful time because that energy
is is opening a doorway between uh two
planes of existence two worlds that that
um you know exist in our multiverse
simultaneously that’s how we connect
with those ancestors so celebrate it
make it fun
and finally when we talk about um
we talk about making an offering um i
often share with everybody that my
offering in the morning is is coffee and
biscotti or coffee and a bagel um and so
the way that you do that and the way
that i recommend you do that do it the
way it feels natural for you is the very
first cup of coffee that comes out of
that pot once it’s brewed is poured for
the ancestors um and so i’ll pour their
cup and then
into that cup i’m going to add sweet
italian sweet cream um you may choose to
use cream and sugar or cream and and
truvia or stevia or something like that
um and if i’m doing this at night
i add a shot of anazette to the uh to
the coffee because at night i don’t add
cream um i’ll do like an espresso and
and i’ll pour um
uh you know pour a shot of anazette and
a little lemon rind or an orange rind
that i put in the coffee
and then stir the coffee
with a regular spoon but your your spoon
becomes a magical implement because we
use household implements in our
tradition and stir the coffee um
clockwise three times
three so a total of nine times so you’ll
do one two three one two three one two
three and um in in my upcoming book i’ll
talk a little bit more about this ritual
um because there is an actual spell if
you will that that i do
um at that time that’s essentially
calling in and the words of the spell
aren’t as as uh
important as um understanding the the
intention the reason for me that i offer
coffee is uh is for prosperity and
abundance and and so um and we use
italian sweet cream um so that the uh
so that the
uh coffee itself
is sweetened the the offering is
sweetened and so what you do as you’re
as you’re pouring it um you know those
over those three times and you’re
brewing you know you’re pouring that
coffee you say brewed from the earth
gift of the land this offering is made
from my heart and hand sweetened with
cream stirred three times three
draw abundance and sweetness and
prosperity and i and so you’re you’re
creating a ritual you’re create you’re
opening a magical portal um between
yourself and your ancestors and you know
that that particular um
spell isn’t as as important
as you know for you as it would be for
me because that was what my aunt and
grandmother would do every morning um
and so it’s my connection point it might
be there for you that when your
grandmother would would um
uh
if you’re you’re meeting with your
grandmother um maybe there was a
particular song she used to hum
or maybe there was uh you know
something that was special about her
maybe a particular piece of music um do
that as you’re pouring that coffee so
you’re you’re really making that not
just oh i’m going to get a cup of coffee
or some water and offer it to the
ancestors
you’re making it ritual itself you’re
making it a magical act
and so what that does is it starts your
day
with an awareness that everything we do
all day long is magic
um it it separates us from that mindset
of oh magic is when i put on my fancy
robes and i get my little wizards hat
and i do blah blah blah
it it makes it so that you’re beginning
to live a more magical life and that’s
why i want you to take some time
um before you move on to the next module
um to do this you know at least for a
couple weeks uh and and if in that
couple weeks
it doesn’t resonate with you then you
just let it go but if it starts to
resonate you start to notice that
there’s there is a connection
um i can’t imagine
working magic without a connection to my
ancestors my ancestors are the
foundation of my magic my ancestors have
my back in anything that i do
and my ancestors are the expression
of the magic that’s lived before me and
and so that connection for me without
that connection i would feel completely
lost
um and you know and it doesn’t always
have to be
um you know happy happy joy joy uh
unicorns and rainbows this past week was
a particularly rough week for me it was
my mom and dad’s 60th would have been
their 60th wedding anniversary so
sitting with the ancestors particularly
with my dad was um was something that
was uh that was painful at times um
emotional every single day
because i i just didn’t know how to be
there
in a meaningful way for my mom to help
her through that and tomorrow will be
six months that my dad is dead um and so
today was another one of those days and
lots of other energetic stuff and and
redefining of relationships and um and
finding out that i was going to be the
sole source of income for my household
um has come up and has been
uh you know my time with the ancestors
in the morning and at night
is just like sitting down with them when
they were here so i talked to them
just like when they were alive
uh or in the in the physical sense
because they’re still alive
on the other side
and so we have conversations and
sometimes
there were days this past week that all
i did was sit there and cry and allow
them to be present to me and there’s
other times in the past when all i’ve
done was sit and be present to them
as they expressed emotion and you know
either either visibly
or just this feeling of that person
hurting and crying and being traumatized
and and wanting someone just to witness
uh that uh
uh that that point of pain for them and
and so let this be organic let it be
natural um you know not forced it’s
better to do
five or ten minutes of ancestral work
every single day than to do an hour once
a month
or or once a year um and and really put
the effort into it because in the past
several years the people that i’ve seen
that actually do this work
have been people that i’ve seen the most
transformation
in their lives and the most uh the most
remarkable
experiences begin to unfold for them
because they’re um they’re doing the
work they’re connecting
with who they are so it doesn’t matter
if you’re italian or polish or german or
jewish or whatever whatever the your
background is
um you have ancestors who are waiting
for you and it’s better to connect with
your ancestors
um you’re we’re talking ancestors of
blood and bone first um better to
connect to them than to reach out to
some mythological characters and
archetypes
of of the spiritual traditions and
religions of the world
and then you can expand from that to the
religion to the to the ancestors of
tribe the ancestors of your heart the
ancestors of place
and uh and then expand to the old ones
um who are our ancestors before the
ancestors uh and and take it from there
there’s a great post by dominic that was
made um in uh in the in the platform if
you haven’t seen it um it’s his most
recent post i highly recommend that you
read that for an idea of how we connect
with the oldest the most primordial of
our ancestors
and so um that’s that’s what i’ve got to
share with you but i want to do um let
me let me switch us to
gallery view
and if you don’t mind and you could
certainly say no ellen uh but since
you’re the only one here i know you’ve
engaged this practice for a while would
you mind sharing a little bit about
um
what that experience has been like for
you over the past couple years
um it’s definitely been eye-opening
uh
i didn’t think twice about
not wanting to connect to my ancestors
i think when we first started
when you first
first time around taking the course
um this past week i actually didn’t
expect this for tonight and i was
reviewing
my notes from
uh the first time around
and uh
it’s quite interesting how that’s
evolved for me
in practicing
um
i’ve i
don’t sit down the more i need my
morning time to
center myself get my pain out of the way
and
and and do that stuff first before
night time’s better for me so and i
can’t say that i’m a regular pride
i practice every night but
um
i find that there’s just times where i’m
not thinking about it and that’s when i
connect to them
when i’m in the kitchen cooking or
something and grandma comes and said you
know and you know you find those just
those little times and
even in times of need where you know i
have to ask myself am i asking for too
much
or you know should i just dial it back a
bit and just sit and listen
um
there’s times there was a time times of
grief and things that have
happened
where i was upset to the point where i
reached out to my ancestors and the
ancestors of place and the land that
we’re on
and
it’s
so it was just such a comforting
experience for me i haven’t had many of
them but that you know just that peace
of mind that comes from being able to
connect even if you’re not sure you’re
connecting you are and
and it comes it doesn’t always come to
you right away it might like you said it
might come
in my experience anyways it’s come
maybe a day or a week or months later
even you know would you say sometimes it
it just sort of
like you’re not even looking for the
answer and then something happens and
then you know a little while after that
you’re like oh my gosh there was the
answer yeah that happened earlier today
yeah yeah if yeah yeah sometimes you’ll
miss it too if you’re not
but yeah
it’s yeah that’s
thank you thank you so much for sharing
that because it’s been it really has
been an honor to to
[Music]
to witness those things in your life
over the last couple years and in so
many of the lives of of uh you know
members of this community and
um you know so so
in in many ways
um
and it’s been interesting because
uh i was posting today it actually was
funny uh and and this particular
ancestor of my heart thought it was
hysterical um because there’s a person
i’ve been posting
this is in real time this is pride month
and so every day i’ve been posting um my
pride playlist and and so yesterday i
posted about um sylvester and sylvester
james and then um i said you know i was
introduced to him by phyllis hyman and i
posted uh today a song by phyllis hyman
and in my head
um
phyllis was born on june 6th
um and so that’s why i was i posted
about sylvester yesterday because um i
knew that today i had to post about
phyllis
and um so i posted this wonderful song
of hers and um which a lot of you
probably know bet you by golly wow
and then um was speaking to
one of her cousins who is a member of
our community and we discovered that
quite by chance uh through a
conversation after they joined
um and
and so i said oh yeah go check it out i
just posted about phyllis and they said
well you know
um
phyllis’s anniversary of death is july 6
birthday is july 6th their anniversary
of her passing was june 30th
but um her birthday was july 6th not
june 6. and i should have remembered
that because it’s my youngest brother’s
birthday
and um and so i immediately i mean i had
candles burning
offerings out it was the big thing um
that you know today to honor phyllis the
picture of her out
and um and then this uh her cousin said
um you know that’s
it’s her birthday’s in july so
they we we get even from those ancestors
of heart and those ancestors of tribe in
place um
the the experience of cultivating those
relationships continues to give to us um
and give and give and give because this
morning i wasn’t in the most cheerful
mindset
um you know there’s a lot of stuff going
on for me and just that little mix-up
was enough to just make me to kind of do
a state change and make me start
giggling and and you know laugh at why i
should rely on calendars and not my
memory
um and um and then then i sat down and
and
in working with phyllis said you know i
could just hear you right now saying
girl you need to use a calendar um and
we had a conversation um from from that
point they really let me know that um
you know that it’s okay it’s okay to not
be okay and it’s okay
in the midst of that chaos and pain
to just take some time to laugh and take
some time to say all right i’m gonna
take a break i’m at 37 000 words out of
the um i got about fourteen thousand
words to go in my in the manuscript
finishing the final manuscript for the
book um and i was feeling like i had to
do it today on top of everything else
and um and it was phyllis who said no
you don’t
you could just you know take time to you
know to sing and play and go in the
garden and just let this be a day that’s
all about you and let yourself heal and
that’s exactly what i did so i hope all
of you that are watching will do that
like i said if you’re watching in real
time um or or live in in the month of
june 2022 um we will be taking a break
for the next two weeks the class will be
taking a break for three weeks but on
the third week we’ll have an open um
class discussion where we’ll talk about
all the different classes uh
that i offer open topic and it’ll just
be really because i’m gonna miss you
guys while we’re away
and i want to give everybody the three
weeks that i promise to get caught up um
but i also want to see everybody in the
meantime so watch the uh the timeline
inside the portal um it’ll be about an
hour before i get this up
please excuse them i just happened to
notice the mess in my background all the
boxes piled up in the corner i had to
get in the closet and had 10 minutes to
go before um before class tonight so i
didn’t even realize i just threw
everything
in a pile behind me um so sorry about
the mess
[Laughter]
ellen thank you so much for being here
live and for all of you that are
watching on the replay thank you and
again for everybody who’s a member of
the platform thank you so much it is
literally you that’s helping to keep
this uh this platform alive um and we’ve
got some new classes coming from other
other instructors um you know in the in
the coming weeks so be on the watch for
that and we’ll talk to you soon i love
and appreciate you
take care