Gary Lineker And Joe Lycett Talk About THAT World Cup Poo Incident | Turdcast With Gary Lineker

Gary Lineker sits down with Joe Lycett for the first and only episode of ‘Turdcast’ – They share their toilet tales and include the most famous sporting poo story. All as part of Joe’s mission to take on the water companies.

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Plop plop you’re listening to turd cast I’m Jay lyset and this is the podcast or poty cast where some of the best loved names in show business talk business from bog standards to demon dumps we’ve all got a toilet story to tell joining me for a trip in the turdis it smells

Worse on the inside than the outside is a genuine sporting Legend on and off the pitch with 48 career goals for England and one dump on the field against the Republic of Ireland today he swap in the big match for the smallest room Gary ler welcome to turd cast thank you how do

You feel I feel a little bit flushed yes a bit nervous a little bit tense would you like a prune maybe after yes before we get into this are you comfortable talking about toilet stuff absolutely I’ve SP spent a lot of time talking about toilet stuff over the years um

Once my little accident um became public knowledge which is about 20 years after the event oh really before we get into it I’d like to know if you have like an ideal setup for a toilet is there home is that your favorite toilet or is there one that you know about somewhere else

That you go that’s the one one mat of the day or something like that no I try not to poo at much of the day right not during the show anyway no whereas unlike football which I on occasion my yeah my I’d like to go if I’m going to do a dump

And I’m at home I will go up to my bedroom right to to generally do it can you set the scene for us what are we talking is it we’re talking um similar size room to this or um a little bit bigger than this but it’s not just a

Toilet it has my showers in and my you know sinks and stuff like that so this is um before people think it’s a monstrously big bathroom this is a a relatively small room but it would be a big room if it was just for a toilet

Yeah I mean there was a point where everybody just wanted to talk about that and when it became public knowledge and I just got kind of just about the same time as I went on Twitter as it was then known and um every single tweet that I

Would put out underneath it would be whatever I was talking about say I was talking about I’m going to see Joe L this afternoon it it’ll be shat on Joe L right and you know and and every like multitudes of them all saying whatever the subject if I was talking about

Manchester City be shat on Manchester City wow brilliantly witty of them all yeah God it football fans are so but in the end they had this thing where you could mute words so I muted Shack and I’ve really not seen any s it actually works well that’s I I had seen that your

Twitter had sometimes in response to some of your I suppose more political tweets that seems to be the level of the people that are against you on some of these political ideas the level of debate is around that sort of thing is it stick to [ __ ] on a pitch yeah

Exactly yeah yeah well let’s get into it let’s get cuz Okay I mean I think we need to address the blue Peter pooping elephant in the room not only do you have a [ __ ] yourself story I would say you have one of the alltime great stories I’m proud of it I’m

Calling it The Citizen Cane shitizen Kane I like that beautiful please tell us about your Citizen Cane story well it was the World Cup of 1990 our opening game was again the Republic of Ireland as you said um in caly um Sardinia and the night before the game I

Started to feel a little bit not well and I was up half the night with diarrhea um was not was wondering whether I’d be able to play um I didn’t want to miss the first World Cup game course off the back of a spag B here do

You think it was a it might have been it might have been something but I I don’t think anyone else was on well it might have just been a bug or who knows what it was but so nerves could it have been it was definitely I think nerves you get

A rumbly tummy but diarrhea all night I don’t know and I never really felt nervous when I played football so I don’t I don’t think so but it’s not impossible I suppose um so anyway so I wasn’t very well overnight and then I thought do I say anything I thought no I

Don’t want to give him the chance to leave me out so I didn’t tell Bobby Robson right um and that’s the sort of thing if you’d said I’ve been been all night he might have thought I’ll leave him on the bench um but um so I didn’t so anyway I

Played and I scored actually after about eight minutes so I was justified um and then I started to cramp up towards the end of the first half and I’m really like holding it I think oh God this is awful and then but I managed to get in

At half time I ran straight to the L and um had a like moment right which was I thought I’ll be all right now so I went out in the the nice noise you made there really I I thought sound effects would would help yeah I really I was there

With podcast you can’t see yeah not that I’m actually do it to during the podcast cuz that would be oh well I mean that would be Never Say Never well I I thought the same about football but as it turns out so anyway so the second

Half starts and I think I’ll be all right now because I’ve you know um so pled I don’t know what it was 10 15 minutes into the second half and start look at the cramps again oh god I think I’m in trouble and then the ball went

Out on the left their left hand side and I ran out as you had to do and then trying to kind of tackle him and as I slid I I relaxed let’s say and forgot to hold and it just went how was that for a sound effect

Really all of these are going to use as my text text noise on my phone so this is you know World cut game being watched by hundreds of millions of people around around the world and I’ve just done a [ __ ] on the pitch and I and it’s but

It’s it’s everywhere and then then I think what and there’s a it’s funny I because i’ never told the story for 20 years no one knew but my teammates knew and some of my family knew and friends that I’ve told but no one knews but at the time but eventually they found the

Coverage you can see it back now it’s well I’ve watched it that’s the thing is that you can’t see anything you can’t see any [ __ ] no but you can see me rubbing my backside along the ground like like a dog yeah trying to get and then and sheling out my pants and there’s

Another bit which I always remember cuz Gary Stevens who was playing right back came up to me and I was like and he went are you okay and I and you if you really look Clos you can see me going I’m [ __ ] myself thank heavens we had dark blue

Shorts yeah because you know sometimes you wear white tops yeah white tops um anyway so I’m Shoveling it out and trying to get it and rub it the one one one piece of Good Fortune I had was that it it had rained before the game and the

Grass was wet so it gave me some I could at least having shoveled it so gross I could then wipe my hands on the on the on the surface of the ground on the grass um but the the amazing thing is actually after that I

Carried on um and I I got a bit more space and nobody was tight marking me that’s for sure I’ve looked at the clip of it on YouTube and I was looking at the comments and lots of people were speculating that that was why you did it

That it was actually a deliberate way of getting more space on the pitch and maybe unsettling yeah the uh the Irish team if I only wish that was that was true but then then with about 10 minutes to go I was gain struggling Bobby Robson that he

He brings me off change because I they kind of knew at half time anyway so so what he knew that you well I went I need you know where you going I went I need my stomach’s off and all the blah okay

So I got so then 10 minutes to go he P I say he pulls me off but that’s just always a bad thing to say um not not necessar necessarily yeah true I’ve said it in the past not about Bobby robs so so I start to walk off the pitch

Now every ground pretty much in the world you have the two dugouts where the the substitutes sit and the tunnel is between them and then you just go down the tunnel into the dressing room particularly under those circumstances but C is ground no no no dugouts were on

The other side of the pitch to The Tunnel so I had to go and sit on the bench alongside all the substitutes and you can see them all gradually shuffling away from me and I’m sat there on my own smelling caked caked in poo and would

You uh I mean I’ve got the Bristol stool chart here would you say we’re talking because the way you’re describing it there is that you can you can sort of take clumps of it not there were no clumps believe me are we talking of type seven there we’re talking or a type six

Um I no full on sludge right so for the benefit of the the listeners what well we’re definitely not in type one which is separate hard lumps no that I can only fantasize about that kind of thing type six is mushy consistency with ragged edges I didn’t have time to um check the

Edges too much type 7even is liquid consistency with no solid pieces that that would be we’re in a type seven situation that’s exactly where it was and might be a good thing I think so probably although very difficult to get in a poo bag but I didn’t have one

Anyway that would have been a nice little Bobby Robson turning up sorry he does do this I think actually my feet might have been in the air when I in Italian I think so CU I I remember it was me trying to do pathetic attempt to tackle gosh so you were

[ __ ] in the air well I think that’s when I Rel reled and so I don’t think I don’t know on the technicality we might have to have like um I don’t know how we can find this outc but the moment of whether it was when my feet hit the

Ground and then it did it or while it was still sliding but I’m not sure my feet were on the floor no so yeah that is it’s beautiful it’s amazing it’s amazing that’s scientific first multi-talented person anyway but now you’ve discovered you are a a scientific Marvel Elite

[ __ ] and what sort of volume sorry to go into so much detail about it but that’s we’re here it felt like a lot you know I was shoveling it out my shorts and for yeah but it was just like mush yeah mush and no one so Millions people watching like shepherd’s pie lovely

That’s perfect that’s exactly the sort of imagery we’re after on this podcast um no one watching at home suspects anything they don’t sort of you don’t get any sort of message from no no and then and it no one seemed to know about I mean my some of my

Teammates would have known obviously cuz one of me of you exactly and I had to kind of um so anyone in the squad knew and then obviously I told friends and family but 20 years something later I’m doing an interview for I think it was Radio 5 live right it’s quite a long

Interview at the end of it he says there’s always been this rumor that you you had an accident in in a World Cup game who’s he who’s who was asking you it was oh who was it I can’t remember who’s the smitch was someone no it wasn’t necessarily snitch I didn’t and I

Just went yeah and told the story and then and then it went so you weren’t embarrassed about it you no we all [ __ ] don’t we we all have accidents I’ve never shot at the World Cup playing for Eng at the time it was obviously hideous

It was awful it was like oh how how is this happening but looky back I mean it’s actually you know it’s quite funny really yeah um and the fact that it stayed silent for that long so I told the story and then then it went viral

And then whenever you I think I still think it’s the case now if you you Google my name it generally comes up one of the first things is Galina kapoo on pit or something I’ve done a few things in my life and there it is right at the top

Why do you think that is though why do you why are we so obsessed with it and why does it become such a big part of your um identity almost I know iose [ __ ] happens I suppose well yeah yeah um I think it’s because it’s so bloody

Unusual yeah I I mean in in such a big moment yeah um yeah I’ve never really pondered it too much no why this is the time to do it why it’s so F yeah because I think people Pro I think most people just actually sympathize with you for the

Situation that you you in yes and um and and everyone else just thinks it’s funny yeah was that the atmosphere afterwards from your teammates Bobby Robson were they all uh sympathetic or were they taking the piss how oh they were taking the piss yeah there’s a few of them

Taking the piss I remember when when I came at the end of the game and it was just you can imagine I’d have gone straight to the toilet and I I thought what what do I do with these shorts and my like the skip like little slip underneath and I’m thinking and there

Was a little bin in the L and I hid them in the bottom of the bin probably they might still be there probably are yeah I think they cleared out the bins in 30 years they’ probably be worth quite a lot of money if anyone did I know I wish

SC them out the famous I mean maradon sold his shirt oh Steve Hodge sold maradon shirt for was it 7.3 million I don’t think you’re going to quite get that for you no but [ __ ] shorts but maybe half a m yeah I’d get I’d pay half

A m for your [ __ ] shorts would you yeah no maybe just fake it try to find some have you heard of any of your teammates or any other footballers doing anything similar ever um not accidentally gazi used to let one go in the big communal bath occasionally did

He he was yes sorry communal bath it’s not a thing anymore but can you believe that’s how it used to be in sport well at the end of the game you covered in mud and whatever else and you all jump in the bath together how big a bath is

This well they vary they vary I usually I would say the communal one would be probably like the square that or what a hot tub like a big hot tub yeah but it wasn’t a hot tub it was a bath yeah it was a bath yeah there was

No bubbles except when people farted probably when Gaz shat himself yeah yes well yeah and he would sh it did happen on a couple of occasions that he’d do it for a laugh and you’d you’ve never seen um bats evacuated as quickly sorry so I mean this this I like

A joke as much as the next person but I’ve never shot myself in a bath of other no well Gaz always found it difficult to know where the where the line was I see but he he was genuinely very funny on other occasions but that

Was I mean it’s a very funny thing to do but it’s that really takes some confidence isn’t it to S of know he never lacked confidence no to do a joke yeah yeah yeah I really admire that actually sort of makes me want I did in

A way I did in a way I thought you know I cuz I could not do that there are no circumstances in which I no I would have the you know either the desire to do it or I’d be incredibly embarrassed by something like that I need to be behind

Sort of six foot of lead yeah before I’m even taking my pants down me too or a World Cup match or a world one of the I’ve not tried the World Cup match so I’ll have to give that a go in in Italy specifically has to be presumably you

Have to wait a while yeah um do you if you know it could happen again a footballer Maybe maybe not to you but a footballer you know future footballer or a current footballer is playing World Cup they get the nerves they have a bit of a dodgy spag ball the night before

Like you did do you have any advice if it happens now because it would be different now I mean social media would just pick it up immediately wouldn’t they yeah well they should do what I do now I carry three these toilet rolls around with me everywhere I go just in

Case just just take one out you know there was a time in football where they they used to throw bog roll onto the pitch oh like as a paper thing um wish it had happened in cye got me out of trouble it’ be quite handy it’s one of those things I sha

Myself not long ago but I was home and I was on my own oh and you just couldn’t be asked to go to the L I wish I was that loou uh no it was um what a little follow through was it little you thought it was a fart I was

Complacent yeah I um happens to us all yeah and I was so mortified So what had happened is i’ had like a tummy buug and then I I had some food and i’ had like a bit of dyed bread and all that and I I

Went to do a fart and it was a fart yeah and I was over the moon I was so thrilled about you’re easily pleased well on that particular day I was chuffed and uh so you know when you once you sort of got that confidence back yeah anything that feels like a fart

It’s probably a fart and I was sat on the laptop doing a bit of emails it was subconscious so you actually [ __ ] on your laptop well no I wasn’t the laptop wasn’t underneath me just I think it’s important for listeners to yeah no I wasn’t sat

Clarification of that I don’t sit on the laptop and [ __ ] onto the laptop I was sat whilst on my laptop on the D kitchen dining chairs and they they’ve got um like inbuilt cushion whatever that’s called so it’s not an easy thing to you can’t take the cushion off and wash it

And I thought it was a fart it was a subconscious thing let it out it wasn’t and uh were you wearing anything I thankfully I was wearing some pajamas so that absorbed the immediate blast lovely and then I then sort of ran up the stairs cuz my bathroom is two floors up

From uh from the kitchen I ran up the stairs sort of holding on to the pajamas so that it didn’t spill out essentially sexy this date’s going well I feel isn’t it but I uh I had to tell people about it immediately yeah I couldn’t I couldn’t

Hold it I felt like it i’ committed a crime and or some something I’d done something terrible and if I didn’t tell people about it I would it would go to the Grave sort of fester yeah so I understand that need to express it but you didn’t have a choice so if you’d

Well you didn’t talk about it for 20 years I could have just avoided the question but I just yeah I thought it was quite I didn’t mind telling the story well we’re thrilled to have you on turd cast to tell the story as well

Um and how did it go for the rest of the World Cup no I was fine no more no more accidents um you made it to the semi-final oh in terms of the football we got to the semifinal we lost on penalties which was was miserable yeah

So I’d sooner have had another [ __ ] and got through to be honest yeah well what can you do what can you do and do you think shifting on the pitch is an aspect of football where the women’s game is a lot of catching up to two I don’t know they’re catching up pretty

Fast in all other things and who knows whether it’s we’ll find out in 20 years maybe if someone did a a poo on the pitch in the Women’s World Cup recently so Third cast will still be running there so well there was um was um who was the um the runner

Ratcliffe she’s she I think she had an accident didn’t she she did yeah yeah I did a in preparation for this I did a a quick sort of search of famous [ __ ] your next guest isn’t she I I would die of Happiness if I could get Paula

Radcliff to do it I’m sure Paula will do it um thank you for telling us that story and for being so open and honest about it um before we finish uh we’ve got some questions um written or submitted by um written and submitted by members of the public and they’ve been

Transcribed onto toilet paper in this really dig it um you’re a prolific Tweeter do you ever tweet from the toilet I think I probably have done yes not it’s not a regular occurrence but I I may well have done I I can’t remember an example okay but I think it’s I

Sometimes it it’s kills a bit of time yeah that none of the tweets that have maybe got you in trouble have occurred on the bog no I don’t I don’t don’t think so no that would be quite good that could be a great excuse I was I

Just you know sent it before i’ sorry Tim dve I was shutting and I slipped and I pressed send um next question oh this is an interesting one could you confidently repair your own toilet if there was well I’ve had a few issues with my toilet um and so gets

Getting blocked this is the real scoop yeah there you go and um and I had my plumber come around a couple of times to clear it and it’s quite it’s quite embarrassing is it when it’s cuz [ __ ] stuff just floats then it you just and I remember say I’m really sorry honestly I

[ __ ] he went don’t worry this is part my I say I’m used to it I see it all the time and I thought oh what a lovely job and then he had the plunger thing and I showed me how to do it so now I do it

Now I do it which is much better like a a plunger with the sort of rubber thing and you go more sound effect we are getting so many sound effects out here on this one yeah and um yeah so I do bit but toilet maintenance I’m not I’m I’m rubbish with

Any kind of DIY and all so you’re getting a man in basically to just use a my turds yeah as I’m sure no one has ever said about your bow motions thank you so much for doing this we’re going to be ending each one of these shows

With a feal fact and this week’s feal fact is that the brown color of Pooh is due to bile from the liver did you know that I didn’t there you go everyday’s learn school day thanks to Wikipedia for that feal fact feel free to drop it in at a dinner party

Uh this uh eventually will be the part of the show where we read out messages from you the pooping public obviously we don’t have any of them yet but it’ll be something to look forward to on the next show where my guest will be Jerry halwell until next time take care be

Kind to each other and enjoy and eat plenty of roughage plop plop plop plop thank you very much for being my first guest on turd cast my pleasure that