John Pinette – Around The World In 80 Buffets

The late great #JohnPinette describes being every all you can eat restaurants worst nightmare 🤣

John Pinette stand up from the Just For Laughs Festival in 1995

#JohnPinetteJFL

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[Applause] it’s a pleasure to be here cuz I was just in Las Vegas so I need the money I lost a lot of money I really did I mean I get them back at the buffet don’t get me wrong 9.95 all you can eat we’ll see who wins this fraking hand now won’t

We I do believe I have Blackjack I was at the prime rib counter going hit me again the buffet manager was horrified you should have seen him he looked like a deer caught in the headlights get the primary back in the kitchen finally just they just gave me

My money back here’s your thousand get out actually they have a buffet in Las Vegas it’s called the Oz Buffet it’s it’s the wizard of ozin and it’s a buffet you walk up and it’s the Emerald City and it’s an all you can eat buffet I ran to it you’re out of the

Wood you’re out of the dark you’re out of the night step into the sun step into the light Prim RS and pork chops and scampy oh my pims and pork chops and scampy oh my you know I talk about buffets not because I’m a big guy no I’m actually

Writing a book Around the World in 80 buffets and in my research I found that there are some foods that shouldn’t be all you can eat like Chinese food shouldn’t be all you can eat because you get hungry again I don’t know what it is they put something

In it they must because I order take out they’re always real happy oh he going to be back [Applause] I give that big boy one [Applause] hour cuz you do get hungry again what is it too and you go from Full to starving there’s nothing in

Between you go from oh my God I can’t believe I ate all that Chia hey look they brought egg rolls so I went to this Chinese all you can eat buffet and while the owner he got pissed I mean he was rude though he’d come out every hour son of a still

Here look he got a g he started screaming at me you’re gone now you here 4 Hour why you here 4 Hour you not come here anymore why you have spare rib you’re so Big eat vegetable eat broccoli you’re scared my t love Chinese food shouldn’t be all you can eat now Japanese food for the book I went to an all you can eat sushi place all the raw stuff I can eat huh it was $22.95 22.95 for raw fish 22.95 you throw this on the

Grill $22.95 I can’t eat a dollar worth I brought a seal I put them right under the table another plate please that seal at buckets full the owner thought I was eating it all though got yell that again this guy scared me though he he reminded me of Lord tanaga from Shogun

You big boy Big Boy come here you like free that’s you eat like free [Applause] Willie actually I want to visit Japan you know sumo wrestlers in Japan are icons oh I don’t think I could be a Sumo no no they’re big no they really I mean those guys are

Big I look at them and go oh you’ve Let Yourself Go you know what I also tried for the book tried Indian food have you been out for Indian food yeah bring a sandwich cuz you know they’re Starving in India now I know why they got plenty of food they just

Don’t know how to cook it you see Indian food’s too spicy it’s it is spicy spicy is a relative term I know that spicy can mean a lot of things spicy could mean oh geez you know that burnt my tongue a little bit or it could mean would you like some

Water no thanks I always scream at the table it’s too hot I have that curry chicken it went through my colon like a Japanese bullet train I wasn’t at the table 5 minutes where’s the bathroom way over there huh please God let me make it don’t let me take a dump in the

Lobby oh look at the line they served all the curry at once they shouldn’t do that they should stagger it you could hear Indian music coming from the [Applause] bathroom Bon swam is [Applause] Me