Trigger warning timestamps:
Mild mention of self harm 16:40 – 17:07
Numbers are mentioned, without total specificity – 35:56 – 36:13, but if you wanna skip that, it was basically someone estimating my weight, that it was half of his, & therefore the pill he’d just given me might be a bit lethal. Oops!
The ED stuff ends from 38:08 onwards, barring the number mention above C:
Playlist for the rest of these chapters is at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xjf7VKswRjY&list=PLwz-VWbmvb6CJM1Q3oi0QdWmbb939pWRn
More ED related content: I would say TW for these videos, mostly strongly the ones relating to pro-anorexia:
-Tess Holliday; Morbidly Obese, &…Anorexic? – https://youtu.be/v-LOg3tp030
-My ED Relapse: https://youtu.be/TjJMWuarKgw
-ED Triggers, & Why Pr.o-Anorexics seek them out: https://youtu.be/2dgCwCZOz4g
-The Truth About Pr.o-Anorexia Forums…& Why They *Shouldn’t* Be Banned: https://youtu.be/zZb0taGNLmU
-Inside The Sick World of Anorexia Fetish Predators: https://youtu.be/afOEZVLL3CI
-Anorexia Fetish Predators, Part 2 – the Girl Who Lost Her Life: https://youtu.be/B74MFKNI2fo
-Pr.o Anorexia Meetups of the Early 2000s: What Really Happened – https://youtu.be/01Wd4c8ZHqQ
-Nostalgia For Your Eating Disorder: how you can miss the worst times of your life: https://youtu.be/EdnIHWv6V1s
-To The Parents of ED Sufferers: https://youtu.be/nqYaRCqZNmc
-Invisible EDs: Your Eating Disorder is Valid!: https://youtu.be/LysCmLXCewU
-Life After Anorexia; The Longterm Effects of My ED: https://youtu.be/3fQg9io-X58
-Patreon.com/ofherbsandaltars – where secret videos & dragon scale glove giveaways happen, & most of my YouTube content gets early access! – $2 gets you in the club – join usssss! 😀
-Instagram – ofherbsandaltars
-My book of horror stories, including a vampire novella, which is a prelude to the novel I’m working on currently: search Amazon for The Putrescent Vein, available in print or on Kindle! :3
-Music – Amazon, iTunes, Spotify: 4am Vampire Blues by Neon Midnight, iTunes linkiepoo is here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/4am-vampire-blues/id1055369459
-And album number 2, Retribution, is here: http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1162784834?ls=1&app=itunes
-Angry Vampires – ofherbsandaltars.wordpress.com
-Short stories – theputrescentvein.wordpress.com
-FB – www.facebook.com/ofherbsandaltars
IMPORTANT NOTE: I have a new PO Box, so scrap the old address if you have it, I’m now overr hyarr!:
Dorian B
Initial Business Centre
Wilson Business Park
Manchester
M40 8WN
UK
–if sending anything to PO Box, please mark as ‘gift’ so I’m not hit with customs charges! I appreciate everyone who takes the time, but customs charges are super hard to sort out via a PO Box and can sometimes result in the item being returned to sender before I get it sorted :-/ so yeah, mark as gift and all should go smoothly!—
25 Comments
I literally could listen to her talk foreverrr 😩😍🤯🤩🥳😭🥰🥺😁🤩❤️
Kismet spiral. Over it.
"would they only get it once I was dead" got me a bit
It wasn’t life changing, I didn’t have it in me to change my life. 😮💨
Sennosides – Yes you do get a tolerance and you can get a ”lazy bowel” for a long time after using them daily for too long. While using senna the bowel gets used to the excessive stimulation and can’t produce enough movement on it’s own anymore, leading to constipation and thus laxative dependence. It is mostly reversible but yeah can be a long road.
Did you take the “All Mine” cake picture? I’ve seen it for years though ED pages
At around 5:55 or just after…..that definitely wasn't dust on the right as we look at u
At 18 you was old enough to stay at home while rest of family go on holiday….no? Specially as yr legally an adult
That's funny, going to Italy was also the time I reached my Lw (I'm in recovery)
3 years ago, I went to Sicily to see my family. We stayed there for 2 weeks, and on the second day, we tried a pastry called "Cannoli" it was good, though the mascarpone wasn't fresh, and I ended up having food poisoning and throwing up at 3am in the toilets. I then pretended to be sick for the rest of the week, it made me so happy to have a valid excuse not to eat. Your videos help me so much, thank you for them. It feels good not to feel alone
Lmaooo the chocolate ex lax! I have some at my house now 😂😂
I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD VOMIT BUCKETS IN THEIR ROOM 😭
I will never look at the fruit the same again when on vacation 😂
14:02 gosh I felt that…
ive been slowly watching thru this series, taking my time to make sure im in the right headspace the whole time and i checked the description and realized this video was released today last year, so congrats on 19 years and counting and one year on this specific video lol
Please don’t make “like a holocaust victim” comments, it’s really really insensitive
According to the science of psychology it is only when we are aged 31 years age that we are acquiring what is called frontal lobe activation. Therefore it is true to say that it is only when we reach the age 31 years that we become the so called "fully grown adult". However those who are unaware of this might turn it into 13 instead. Your young brother is obviously unaware of the science and would imagine him self and others as being fully grown adult even at the young age of thirteen. I remember how I were abused at eighteen too. The abuse were unbearable and I ran away from home only to get into even more serious difficulties. Looking back in hind sight I realise that I aught to have stayed at home. But we cannot turn back the clock. One result is that I am here. But for my life being the disaster zone it were I would not be the person I am and here where I am. So despite everything things have turned out okay in the end.
I understand so well your ed becoming the most important thing in your life and not really caring so much about the rest and actually also being scared of it because life in general might interfere with your "ed plans"
I've never had an eating disorder but I find your stories fascinating
the best series on youtube!
The first sentence of that video cited the year I was born.
I love your stories Dorian. Because even if I don’t live in the same world as you did, I still relate to those experiences. There is a sort of universality in pain and youth, no matter when you hurt, you just hurt despite the world around you
Thanks for the stories Dorian, really
Me and My mum are so close it always baffles me that people have mums like this. I've always had an ugw in mind, it's ridicilously low and I'm 22 now and after 5 years I still haven't reached it and probably won't now i'm getting older but I know if I got remotley close my mum would drag me kicking and screaming to the hospital. I just can't understand how your family didn't do anything! But i guess some families are like that.
Not me escaping my shitty life with her story time your words suck me into your world and it’s honestly freeing
I mean I get why they were irritated and you weren’t 16 you where 18. As someone who has grown up with an autistic sister I can’t tell you now it no walk in the park for siblings either. We are expected to be saints for them and I tell you it takes its toll on our mental health as well.
You won't probably read this and it's ok. I wanted to say I admire the fact that you talk about it so openly. It helps. I have seen some comments of people under pictures of extremely emancipated people. I started to go down a route of anorexia content. I eat, i do, but i know it's not enough, in summer I felt the kg getting off even though I only lost a few as the clothes fit looser. I don't want to get sick but the pull is there. So I wanted to apologize for having searched for your emancipated pictures. I don't want to get sick or you to feel ever responsible for mine or anyone's illness. But you are so right, when the hardship comes it feels easier to numb it like this. I don't want to get ill.
you are an incredibly talented writer and storyteller <3